AN INTRODUCTION FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW MEI am Garrett Edison Kowaleski and I was born in the summer of 1998. I've acquired a few nicknames over the years, 'G', 'G-Rat', 'Gary', 'Blunt Monkey' and 'Mort' being the main ones. I have grown up and attended Laingbsurg my whole life, but because I have family from all over the state I've been raised and enveloped around many different areas, cultures, and lifestyles. Giving way to unique opportunities to learn about both my life, and the world around me. My mothers family comes from the Mt Pleasant/ Mecosta area, which is where my 'bluegrass roots' come from. My other aunt and her children are from Grand Rapids and introduced me to the 'concrete jungles' at an earlier age. My paternal side of the family mainly being from out of state, all congregate to our family cabin in the Remus area. There I spent a majority of my time out in the woods or fishing, practicing bow hunting when i'm not cleaning and cooking the fish we just caught.
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Early interests and hobbies
During that time I was engrossed in multiple interests and hobbies, a majority of those being outdoor activities and sports. I played around 5 years of football, mainly playing linebacker and running back but I still found myself floating around the various positions of both the defense and offense line. I also played around 7 years of baseball as the catcher, the only position I actually enjoyed playing. Besides the laingsburg affiliated sports teams, I participated in other extracurricular activities. I’ve been skateboarding since I was about 5 or 6, way before the skatepark in laingsburg was built. During the summers I either spent my time at the Ranney Skatepark in frandor, or street skating with my cousins in Grand Rapids. Like previously mentioned, I also practiced archery and bowhunting. This being an alternative that I deemed much more fun than hunting with firearms. Outside of sports and physical activity, I was obsessed with videogames and everything that had anything to do with it. I often found myself getting lost in games such as “Legend of Zelda” and “Pokemon” for hours, spending my off hours from sports plugged into the digital adventures. The videogames of my childhood were the seeds that sprouted during my adolescence, giving way to finding what I really enjoyed spending my time doing.
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growing up
Around the transition from elementary to middle school, I found myself becoming disinterested in the “Sports life”. Gravitating more and more towards video games and music. These artistic mediums being what I felt really resonates inside of me, what really sparks the “fire” inside of me. This transition lead me to discovering this “fire” inside of me, my burning desire to create and express myself. To create art and emotions, whether that be through; drawing, writing, music or everything in between.
the kindling flame inside
Although I discovered this lust for creativity later on, I always had a fondness for all types of music. Like previously mentioned, I had been around many different areas and cultures growing up. Although I was mainly enveloped around Bluegrass and Blues music, it makes sense that I've had a wide spectrum of musical influences throughout my childhood. Some of those being: Weird Al, Michael Jackson, Phil Collins, Pink Floyd, David Bowie, Metallica, Eminem, Tribe Called Quest, Beastie Boys, Bob Marley, Johnny Cash and Sublime just to name a few. It wasn't until age 6 or 7 that I found out about 2 bands that would would fan this flame. Daft Punk and Gorillaz are what started getting me into music, and sparked the fire inside me. From there I discovered turntablism and electronic music around the age of 8. This combination being the catalyst for my love of the arts, setting me down the path i'm still traveling down today. Even as I write this.
Let me break down how this path has gone so far Age 8: I get into electronic music and turntablism
Age 10: Started DJ-ing and practicing turntablism Age 13: I started producing and writing music myself Age 15: After cycling through multiple aliases, looking for the best name to continue this adventure with I finally found it. “NeonWorlds” seemed to fit the “glitzy”, “vibrant”, and “kawaii” nature of my music,it being very reminiscent of my musical influences from the 80’s… so I rolled with it. Age 15: Started doing live shows Age 16: I wanted to branch into different types of music and expand my toolset. So I took up writing and producing hiphop under the separate alias of “Mort Vivant”, producing beats for other rappers on the side. Age 18: 10 years later I now have multiple shows under my belt, and my foot partially propping open the door to the next step in my life and music career. The door leading to where ever I want to go, as long as I am willing to work for it. Just as I did to get to this point, which i’ll expand upon what that work entails in the next part of this blog post |
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Determination and justified pride
My passion for music isn’t the only fruit the past 10 years have yielded, its but an introduction to what I’ve worked for. The past 10 years have yielded a lot of fruit, both from the opportunities themselves, but also the introspective meanings and details to those experiences. These fruits were used to make what I can only describe as a “Life Pie”... or what I like to call my personal ‘mindset and philosophies’. This mindset is what has kept me going throughout Highschool, what has saved me from giving into life’s obstacles and letting failure wash over me like a wave. This mindset being the product of almost 10 years of work, only recently being completed with the wisdom gained from all that has entailed my 4 years of hell. For these last 4 years has presented more change and challenge to me than all the years prior combined. As a result I am a completely different person than when I entered High School, leaving with the experience and determination needed to take life to it’s fullest.
what has changed since entering HIGH SCHOOL?
Going into the last stage of my schooling career, I was shy and stricken with anxiety just at the thought of what lies ahead. I had no idea where I wanted to go in life, no solid goals or ambitions occupying my thoughts. At this stage I was still getting into making music and making little progress, so not a lot of goals came of it. I knew that I wanted to keep working on it throughout high school though, so I kept that notion along with my newly kindled passion and ran with it.
freshman yearEntering freshman year I was anxious about the change of schools. New curriculum, teachers, and challenges all weighing on me as I walked the halls. I had acquired new friends that at the time, I had no idea of their toxic baggage they carried. Their poison just starting to pollute my environment while slowly creeping into my life. Despite that I still stayed optimistic about my spot in time, using it as an opportunity to start defining myself by my own standards. I wanted to find myself and what I wanted. What I want to do with this life I was given, but never asked for. This somewhat tying in with a quote that I've kept coming back to every time I re-watch the Pokemon: MewTwo strikes back. The seeds of change were planted for a later time, but for then I worked on my music and myself.
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SOPHOMORE yearSophomore year is where things started to derail a bit, testing my faith in the set of philosophies I set for myself. This is the year that my Grandma Rose had passed away from her battle with cancer. This had struck me deep considering she was one of the most inspirational people for me both before and after she passed. If there was anything she wanted to do, she’d put her mind to it and work for it. Ever since I could remember she has shown this to me, whether it's designing and building a pool patio or fixing her house and other possessions. So the passing of her had not only made me fully realize her influence on me, but it made me grow up a lot. Her battle had taught me a lot about the strength of an individual, and the influence their strength has. I also lost a bit of my childhood with her passing, her house being a home away from home during the summers and winters. A source of my drive for self efficiency, gone. On top of her passing, the ‘friends’ I made had finally shown their true colors, reeking of their toxic influence they caused me to question myself. With the closing in walls of my peers caving in my sanity, I went running for answers. In the process I had to let go of the things weighing me down mentally, the things plaguing my mind. I did so a day at a time, slowly chipping away at the shell that I came in entering High School. The seeds of my current mindset just starting to germinate and break shell alongside me. Towards the end of the year I had removed a portion of toxicity from my life, letting go of bad friends and even worse circumstances while moving forward with my life.
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Junior year
Going into my Junior year I had let go of the old me and with it the toxicity that came of it. I had “found myself” and what I wanted to do, but there was still obstacles to overcome before I could reach it. Despite improving myself from the year prior I still spent a majority of that year out of school due to health and anxiety problems. Around halfway through the 2nd term I was pulled from school for months to treat this problem, eventually leading me to be pulled for an indefinite amount of time. During this ordeal my mother had the chance to move to Portland for work, and with that I saw the opportunity to end my anxiety problems and to get a true fresh start. So I did, and for the 2nd semester of the year I threw myself to the wolves and attended Portland. I could honestly write a book on what happened and how much it helped me, but i’ll keep it short. I met lifelong friends while learning lifelong lessons that helped me way more than just overcoming my anxiety. That summer in Portland is what prepared me for the “wonderful” time that was my senior year.
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senior yearAlthough I was the person I wanted to be, I wasn’t strong enough for what came next. It was a thought I had not entertained my whole High School experience, yet it happened so suddenly It caught me off guard and crushed me. For love is what almost killed this newly made man, what almost dismantled the last 4 years of work. It broke me down and bombarded me with feelings that i’ve never experienced for myself, making me question myself even more so than my previous snake of friends. Considering that you're reading this it's safe to say that I came out victorious, for what didn’t kill me made me stronger. 4 years of introspection and reflection leads up to this point, and with this obstacle being overcome it only reassures my belief in that.
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Coming in I was afraid of the world, unsure who I was and what I want. Now that I've survived I'm ready for the world, i'm confident in who I am and what I want. I now truly know through personal experience that one can achieve whatever they put their mind to. Coming into High school I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life and where I was going to be, along with that I didn’t know where I belong. I didn’t know what peers to stay away from and which ones to reach out to, but now I know where I belong. I belong to myself, not a group or clique. Just as no one belongs to me or my ‘clique’, we all are giving our own lives to do what we want with it.
determination and justified pride... again
What has helped me come to this realization though? What influences and events caused me to develop this view and my mindset? Beside the wisdom I learn from the experiences that happen, I also have numerous people and resources to attribute to my way of thinking and my beliefs.
One of the biggest influences has got to be a New York based hiphop group called “Flatbush Zombies”. A group of 3 friends who promote individuality and the importance of ruling the day. They taught me the fundamental attitude of my mindset, teaching me to take life by the horns and not have any of the bull’s crap. They also taught me how important it is to keep a strong belief in whatever you truly believe in, and to never lose sight of what sparked your flame in the first place. They are also one of the only rap groups who I still listen to almost everyday, and still find more meaning and value to their lyrics and preaching every time I listen to them.
One of the biggest influences has got to be a New York based hiphop group called “Flatbush Zombies”. A group of 3 friends who promote individuality and the importance of ruling the day. They taught me the fundamental attitude of my mindset, teaching me to take life by the horns and not have any of the bull’s crap. They also taught me how important it is to keep a strong belief in whatever you truly believe in, and to never lose sight of what sparked your flame in the first place. They are also one of the only rap groups who I still listen to almost everyday, and still find more meaning and value to their lyrics and preaching every time I listen to them.
One of the other bigger influences has got to be Kanye West. Not only is he an influence on my music, he also helped me develop a bulletproof mentality and a greater sense of my own worth. He showed me that having confidence in yourself and your skills is important, and that overconfidence and arrogance will lead to your demise. That's why I've adopted a way more humble and empathetic kanye complex that helps me stay confident in myself, yet doesn’t allow for pride unless it's justified.
Like previously mentioned my grandma was a huge influence to me growing up, but she isn’t the only family member that has inspired me and my mentality. My mother being the daughter of Rose, is just as hardworking as she was and inspired me even more. She pushes me to be the best I can and to make her proud of what I do, even more so than my other influences.
All of these people and things made me who I am today, forming my mentality and beliefs. They put me in the position to pass on the knowledge to future generations, just as the ones before them had done. So thats what i’m going to do.
Like previously mentioned my grandma was a huge influence to me growing up, but she isn’t the only family member that has inspired me and my mentality. My mother being the daughter of Rose, is just as hardworking as she was and inspired me even more. She pushes me to be the best I can and to make her proud of what I do, even more so than my other influences.
All of these people and things made me who I am today, forming my mentality and beliefs. They put me in the position to pass on the knowledge to future generations, just as the ones before them had done. So thats what i’m going to do.
a word for the younger me, and the future generation
If I had the chance to go back and do anything differently or even give some advice to my younger self I wouldn't. I’d only tell the younger Garrett one thing that I've learned the hard way over the years, “Thoughts and plans do not equate change, thoughts paired with action yield change.”. Which is saying that nothing will change unless you put action and initiative to your thoughts. You can sit and think all day about what you’re going to accomplish or do differently, but unless you put action to your talk nothing will ever come of it. You cannot sit idle and wait for the opportunities to come to you, you search! You get out there and make opportunities happen by putting action to your thoughts. You take every chance you get to make change and make opportunities out of it. Whether that yield positive or negative results, at least you're getting results as opposed to sitting around and waiting for them.
This is the most basic principle of my mindset... Don’t wait for change, make it happen. That’s the only thing i’d tell myself, the rest i’d have to learn the truth about myself. With that attitude you can achieve whatever you put your mind to, just as my grandma and many others have taught me with their life stories.
I do want to give this advice though, that you shouldn’t be too prideful. You can however work hard enough towards it so you do feel justified, for when you do reap the fruits of your labor. It’s helped me make sure that I deserve to take pride in what I accomplish, and to make sure that there is fruit to my labor that I can enjoy myself without feeling arrogant. So yeah… take pride in what you do, just make sure that you work hard enough to feel the justification for your pride.
Now this last piece of advice is for all ages, all people in all points of their life… Find yourself and stay positive. Find out what makes you happy, what gets you out of bed in the morning and work towards it. Try your best to stay optimistic about life, because you’ll never know what opportunities will come to you if you’re out there putting action to thought and whatnot.
With that sleep deprived piece of life advice, I sign off. Wishing everyone who's reading this the best of luck in their lives, because I know everyone is capable of achieving greatness. It’s all about how hard they want to work for it.
This is the most basic principle of my mindset... Don’t wait for change, make it happen. That’s the only thing i’d tell myself, the rest i’d have to learn the truth about myself. With that attitude you can achieve whatever you put your mind to, just as my grandma and many others have taught me with their life stories.
I do want to give this advice though, that you shouldn’t be too prideful. You can however work hard enough towards it so you do feel justified, for when you do reap the fruits of your labor. It’s helped me make sure that I deserve to take pride in what I accomplish, and to make sure that there is fruit to my labor that I can enjoy myself without feeling arrogant. So yeah… take pride in what you do, just make sure that you work hard enough to feel the justification for your pride.
Now this last piece of advice is for all ages, all people in all points of their life… Find yourself and stay positive. Find out what makes you happy, what gets you out of bed in the morning and work towards it. Try your best to stay optimistic about life, because you’ll never know what opportunities will come to you if you’re out there putting action to thought and whatnot.
With that sleep deprived piece of life advice, I sign off. Wishing everyone who's reading this the best of luck in their lives, because I know everyone is capable of achieving greatness. It’s all about how hard they want to work for it.